New Move, New Life, New Stuff

Hello to all thelittleshittyblog followers! Excuse the absence but I have been moving my life to a new spot!

I have left the sheltered and close nit community of the University of Hertfordshire to the birth place of my adulthood in Hemel Hempstead

I have successfully managed to find employment in Next, but more importantly I am also pretty much employed in an events management and graphic company (but not a 100% yet. More on that when it’s confirmed).

And yesterday, with my £10 cash gift from Next, I went and bought myself a can of coke.

Also…a starburst candle, and (exceeding my £10) a Visual Guide to the Comic Book Universe for inspiration and a Literature Listography. Finally, I received my textile design from Spoonflower, as well. As you can see it’s the lip design you see in the header image of this blog (which I threw in to try and personalise things – doesn’t fit well).

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Cheers!

# 2 Anime Review: Horny anime fans, come-hither…

Hello to all thelittleshittyblog followers. I had a lovely weekend away and now I’m back to post my second anime review and well…it’s not quite…ah…. I’ll just let you read on.

Ok so whilst exploring the wonderful platform of Crunchyroll (in the midst of a very hormonal anime period, where binging on all things anime is a must) I came across a type of show I have never had the luck of coming across before. The show was called Makuranodanshi.

Now I’m really being open minded here when I call this a show.

Does it have a plot? No. Does it include interesting and funny interactions between the cast? No.

But it does feature a character in each episode, so I’ll give it that. At least it’s not a flying grey cat pooping rainbows continuously for an hour.

Makuranodanshi is closer to being a dating sim than an anime. Now I don’t know how common dating anime are but I have never come across one till now. Described as a ‘television anime’ on myanimelist.net, this show by Earth Star Entertainment is also coined by the website as a ‘new and novel animation entirely in the first-person perspective’.

Makura no danshi translates to pillow boys, which is the collective term for the show’s characters. Each character is designed to fulfil every desirable anime type we viewers would ever desire.

So what do they do?

Well, they talk to you, the viewer, about a scripted scenario which you are forced to go along with. This in itself detaches the viewer from the situation, but I appreciate and admire the idea for its uniqueness.

This show is designed for those ‘tired hearts’ (myanimelist.net) who want to briefly imagine what life would be like with an anime husband – as they are all male – who wants nothing more than for you to feel loved. Rather than tell you stories these characters talk to you, which as I said before, detaches the viewer from the situation since you are not reacting the way it’s scripted you do. It’s like turning up to perform without having a script or any clue about what is going on. Although I understand they did this to make the first-person perspective more involving, it actually just makes it odd to watch when they react to something that you didn’t do. It would have been better to just keep them talking and using that as a way to absorb the viewer.

Perhaps complimenting that with better camera shots would have made it more realistic too. Instead of switching shots in the same way you would with a third-person perspective show, they should have kept the shots mostly stationary, mimicking the viewer who is likely to be still whilst watching the show. This sacrifice of creative shots would have made the viewers more likely to feel as if they were in the setting. If it was a necessity for the camera to move, then don’t include camera cuts and move the gaze of “the viewer” in a natural way so sudden switches of positions, as if the viewer repeatedly blacks out, don’t occur in something that’s supposed to mimic reality.

So far I have only watched three episodes that each run for about 4:00 minutes. The intro lasts for about one minute and features the list of characters waiting for you. It’s obviously pure fanservice, with semi-naked men sprawled out on pillows looking bedraggled and alluring in only a way art can achieve. Prancing sheep symbolise falling asleep, so I would guess combining that with the title and piles of pillows featured in the intro, that you’re supposed to watch this before you sleep. No doubt aimed to send you off to the wonderful red-light district of dreams.

The main character – if there really could be one – seems to be episode 1’s pillow boy, Merry, as he features the most throughout the intro. He is also the lovely fellow who is featured at the top of this post. Merry appears to be very youthful, loves pink and fluffy hoodies, has the glossiest hair and huge brown eyes. His setting – understandably as the first episode of the pillow boys – is on a bed piled with pillowed, surrounded by a peach curtain. It’s all very dream-like with blurring visuals and diffused lighting.

In the second episode Tanaka Sousuke, a dominant businessman who you see as your senpai, helps you get home after a night out. You get the impression that when you get back to your apartment, he is going to do more than drop you off at the door.

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In the third episode, we are introduced to the arrogant Hanamine Kanade who is a pompous teenager who loves nothing more than to belittle the viewer (hey, some people like that). The setting features signs of wealth and class. He is a master of the violin and doesn’t let you forget that (as long as you have a good imagination – read on to know why).

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Judging by this image, this is the Tamaki Suoh of the group. Also, he’s scared of spiders.

In each episode, there is no music. I imagine this is to help make things more realistic. Although I get their motive, perhaps some ambient sound would have helped involve the viewer as music and sound draws people in. In the second episode, you can’t hear the cars that drive past and in episode 3 we are forced to imagine the music that Hanamine plays on his violin. This really surprised me. It seemed that instead of involving the viewer, forcing them to imagine something that in a realistic setting would be out of their control anyway seemed pointless and counterproductive.

Overall this show is something to watch if you want to get horny or like for me, if you are just interested in seeing one of those oddball things that are so bad it’s worth your time, just to know that you’ve seen it. An experience is what I would call it.

As it’s only recently started to be released in sub, not all the episodes are out but go check it out anyway. I doubt you’d want to watch all of it even if it was all released.

RATING: So bad you can’t peel your eyes away.

 

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Review Updates

Hello again to thelittleshittyblog followers and visitors.

I just wanted to update you guys on what the next few anime reviews will be on, as I am too excited to keep it to myself.

I will be reviewing:

Punch Line
My Little Monster
MY love STORY!!
Danchigai
Makuranodanshi

As I am so hyped up concerning bringing you these reviews – not only to express what I thought of the shows but to also expose you all to anime you might not have come across yet – that I have already begun writing my second one.

BUT!!!!!

I will not be able to continue work on it for a few days, so I will not be able to update this blog till next week.

So hopefully, this teaser will keep you guys interested.

Please, whilst you’re waiting, check out this blog’s newest and only anime review as of yet, #1 Anime Review: Funny Merman Short (yes, I know brilliant title…) and feel free to look at my other posts on varying topics from fashion to survival gear.

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Cheers!

#1 Anime Review: Funny Merman Short

Ok, hello to thelittleshittyblog supporters and visitors! I have been quite overwhelmed by the response to my post The Drug Called Anime, and I thank all of those who liked and followed as a result of it. It reassures me that reviews are something you guys will enjoy.

So a big warm welcome to my new followers Desperadojiraiyan and Ruki. Also thanks to Arria Cross and JAVC Photography for the likes.

So since I am really excited to make my first review, I will start now…at 00:02. So, as a result, it will hopefully not be too long (but it’ll probably end up being long).

So the question is, what anime can I talk about so ‘briefly’?

Well, I have the answer. My first review will be on the anime adaption of Itokichi’s Orenchi no Furo Jijo.

Each of the 13 episodes runs for about 4 minutes per episode. So, this is really just a coffee bean to neutralise the palette between intense periods of hardcore anime binging.

Anime News Network, summarises the plot as:

Tatsumi is a high school student who lives on his own, until a merman named Wakasa takes up residence in his bathtub. His solitary lifestyle is turned upside down by the self-centered (but handsome) new roommate.

It is considered a humorous, slice of life short with fantasy at its centre.

In this review, there will be a few spoilers, but I will try to limit how much I tell. At the beginning I will talk about the overall package so that if you want to avoid spoilers, you don’t have to scroll all the way down to the bottom, risking seeing something you don’t want to.

What drew me to this anime was the fact that it features a merman. As a fan of H2O and someone who wrote their second-year thesis on the Mockumentary Mermaids: The Body Found, I have quite an interest in mermaid mythology. I’m especially keen on the portrayal of the ever elusive Merman, in the media. So I was hooked by the poster cover of a man with a fish tail chilling in a pink bath. Also, look at this image:

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via Anime News Network

…that Merman is way too pretty, naked and touchy feely for this show to not have suggestive interactions between the characters. If you hate any anime that even jokes about yaoi, then this show isn’t for you. Although this show doesn’t cross the boundary into Boys Love It plays with the power of suggestion, to create situations that would turn out a lot differently in other anime. They do this not only to attract viewers but to also create funny and weird situations, emphasising the lack of social awareness this merman has in this human world (hey, his sea friends never thought he was strange). Also, it all takes place in a bathroom.

I needed a break after finishing watching a long series, so the idea of 13, 4-minute episode show appealed to me. I wanted something light hearted and not too hard to process. It cleansed my brain of the turmoil that had started to spread from my reaction to the previous show I’d watched and refreshed my perspective. It’s a super easy plot to follow, designed for laughs and just a bit of fun. This is highlighted by its pastel colour palette and frequent use of chibi versions of the characters to exaggerate their personalities. So if you want a break from depressive dog kids and need a nice balm to ease the wound before taking on world lines of despair, check out this anime.

WARNING MAY BE SPOILERS AHEAD

Ok, so you shouldn’t expect too much from this short.

The plot serves its purpose of being a very basic storyline to give the creators something to create. Obviously this was based on the manga of the same name, but I could imagine the director/producer wanted to find an easy project to make a little cash from. This isn’t the type of show that would bring in a lot of revenue.

There are a lot of loopholes in the plot and missing details, an important one being, ‘how did the merman get there’? You get the jist he was rescued by the main character, but the intro to the show tells you a different story as the viewer witnesses the main character instead being saved by the merman. Upon seeing that intro the first time, I’d really hoped this would be about how they came to be together, but instead we start after the main character’s world was turned upside down. For me, that is a shame.

I also feel that the intro didn’t need to be as long as it was considering how long the episodes were.

So my brief assessment of the characters:

  • Tatsumi – a rather boring high school student, who lives alone and seems to have very few defining personality traits bar he’s always busy and always nice (He needs to get angry more often)
  • Wakasa – a flamboyant merman who is pretty much the main source of humour in the show. His vibrant personality and lack of experience in human etiquette means he contrasts Tatsumi allowing the generation of many interesting events. He is also often the source of cuteness in the anime and easily the best character.
  • Maki – A sea snail man who has two different personalities. He makes frequent self-deprecating jokes whilst cleaning the bathtub. He can be quite funny at times. His design is disturbing.
  • Mikuni – at first confused for a ghost, he (I was certain he was a girl) turns out to be a jellyfish. He is shy and can quite literally not take up a lot of space. He is the cleanest and most considerate guest so Tatsumi is fonder of him than the others.
  • Takasu – an octopus man who is good at massages, loud and self-centered. Tatsumi is not keen on him. He was annoying. They also played with the tentacle fetish…yep, in that episode I was concerned about where the show was going to go. Had I stumbled upon soft porn?
  • Kasumi – Tatsumi’s little sister. Mistakes Wakasa for a girl at first. She is quite funny but makes very brief appearances. She has a rivalry with Wakasa as she competes against him for her brother’s love (and is jealous he gets to bathe with her brother when she doesn’t).

Design wise I loved how the show transitioned from realistic to chibi form, emphasising comic moments such as the decapitated head scene in the bathtub (watch it). It reminded me a lot of how in Panty and Stocking, the style varies to change the way the viewer perceives the situation. When they wanted Wakasa to look hot, they made him look more realistic. I also thought it was interesting how everything was in one environment. As an animation graduate, that was a smart move that would have saved a lot of time.

Overall this show is pretty good.

Even though I mentioned a lot of bad points, it has to be kept in mind it is only a short and I have seen a lot worse. At least in this show the stories made sense and they were genuinely quirky and funny. It was a show designed to make you smile and it did just that.

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The Drug Called Anime

Greetings again from thelittleshittyblog and hi there to the blog’s newest follower, Steph. You’ll find Steph is quite the fashion goddesses so please go check her out.

When I was younger, my first experiences of anime were Pokèmon, Digimon and  Cardcaptor. Back then I really didn’t acknowledge the difference between these programmes and western cartoons but all I knew was that, I loved them. It’s hard to conclude whether I preferred Cardcaptor over (please contain your cries of disbelief) Pokèmon. I had Cardcaptor toys whilst I only had Pokèmon cards which I bought to look at rather than use (I didn’t have a clue). I remember Pokèmon better than Cardcaptor, particularly the first film which has not only been ingrained in my head as a traumatic experience, but was also the first time I’d shed a tear for on TV (the second film I cried at was Cast Away, NO WILSON!). However, after Misty left Pokèmon had no place in my life. Cardcaptor didn’t betray my trust so remained my friend for a little longer than the immortal boy and his coma dream. Ultimately, Digimon was my favourite anime back then. I remember purchasing the toys in Florida, playing imaginary games with the characters in my living room and singing along to the theme tune. So a rush of nostalgia overtook me when I heard they’re going to bring back the show with a teenage perspective.

Then for me, anime was mostly forgotten bar the rare and refreshing/terrifying Studio Ghibli film. In high school, I revisited the category when my parents bought me two art books on designing anime characters but my interest was kept in place by the rules conjured up by my false friends who considered such a hobby to be embarrassing. Ah, School! What a blast!

I don’t remember what resulted in my second prolonged experience of anime, but somehow during high school I found myself falling upon the parody Shojo (excuse lack of proper symbol over ‘o’) anime Ouran High School Host Club. It became the first anime I completely finished and it was the first anime I had discovered outside of mainstream western media a.k.a I watched it online. With curiosity in my heart, I looked around the metaphorical entrance into the world of anime and gazed out at the one anime that occupied it. At that time, I had no idea how huge the world of anime was. I had a limited scope and wrongly presumed due to snippets from different shows, that anime was mostly terrifying and gross. So after I watched OHSHC, I nodded with appreciation and closed the door.

The next time I would experience anime would be just before my first year of university. Whilst wondering the many levels of Youtube I came across AMVs. At this point, I still felt as though anime was a cruel and violent world, and when I discovered Soul Eater AMV, This Is Halloween, I felt no different. However, this time my curiosity was Piqued by the overexaggerated animation, vibrant colours, unique characters and landscape and the fact they could turn into weapons. I’d never seen anything like this before. It appeared as scary to me as the short clips from Bleach that had put me off, but there was something alluring about the sadistic nature. I also recognised the suggestion of insanity and that was something I was very interested in. So, I dared myself to try watching it. If it was too gross then I could just stop. I thought it was going to be a blood fest. Little did I know that this anime really wasn’t as scary as my inexperience led me to believe, and that I would go on to watch entire series, buy the DVD and merchandise and place it on my wall of fame as one of my favourite series. I had opened the door cautiously and been drawn into the world, the door closing behind me. So Soul Eater was my gateway anime.

Within Fresher’s Week, I finally met my mentor, a guy on my course who later became one of my best friends. He helped me find the switch and light up this new world. With his knowledge and spare time to burn, I slowly began to explore. First tentatively, unsure of where to go. But then he told me of a big player, one of the trump cards. This show would end up hooking me, looking the door behind and throwing away the key. Fullmetal Alchemist. I avoided it at first, preferring to watch some shows that were less notorious. But eventually I dared to cross the line (random reference there) and suffered for it. Now anime fans you’ll know the feeling. When you finish an excellent show and your heart aches for more. That’s how I felt after that show (both series included).

Now, I have graduated and finished not only with a 2:1 (whoop!) but an extensive list of watched anime. Yesterday I finished a show that made me cry and left me with that familiar emptiness where my heart is.

Now, I have decided to not only spend a few days wallowing but also to start creating my own reviews on this blog. I have a lot to say and have been wanting to do it for a while.

So this is a very long introduction to that.

So if this sounds like the type of thing you’ll enjoy feel free to subscribe via email below so you don’t miss out on posts or follow using the RSS feed.

Survival Of The…Most Prepared

An awaited hello to the followers of thelittleshittyblog. Long time no see.

Excuse my absence, blogging has been the last thing on mind recently. But now I am back and have a number of stories I want to blog about to make up for my disappearance.

Also a warm welcome to my latest follower Michelle Kim.

Right, onwards with my first makeup after break up post –

Please don’t be mistaken, this isn’t a post on my imaginary break up with my imaginary partner. This is just the spontaneous name I have given the next few blog posts which will be desperately trying to remind you all that I still exist and love you.

– The other day, I was talking to a family member about the resilience of the young boys of the Satere-Mawe Tribe who live in the Amazon Rainforest.

Yes it seems like a random topic to bring up with a family member, but I had recently watched a documentary on the subject and was so amazed by what I had witnessed that I just had to enlighten their minds.

The people of this isolated tribe live way into their 80s without the aid of conventional medicine. They are also incredibly resilient and strong-willed, as they cannot be weak mentally or physically in such a harsh environment. There are many ways they achieve such long health and resilience which have been passed down from generation to generation and proven to be successful. Scientists propose that their regular rite of passage for the younger members of the tribe actually improves their health, leading to fewer illnesses and long age which is important in one of the world’s most deadliest environments. This ceremony is called:

The coming of age Bullet Ant Gloves ceremony.

Some information on Bullet Ants. They vary from an inch to 1.2 inches long and according to Wikipedia (I know, not the most reliable source!):

The pain caused by this insect’s sting is purported to be greater than that of any other hymenopteran, and is ranked as the most painful according to the Schmidt sting pain index, given a “4+” rating, above the tarantula hawk wasp and, according to some victims, equal to being shot, hence the name of the insect. It is described as causing “waves of burning, throbbing, all-consuming pain that continues unabated for up to 24 hours”.

So it’s worse than your local hornet.

So how would you feel wearing this:

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Photo via Oti The Lis

– for 10 whole minutes. And you would wear them for as many times as needed over many months till you no longer cried out in pain.

That is what the children of the Satere-Mawe Tribe have to do in order to join the male hunters of the tribe.

Now let me get one thing clear, these kids are willing to do this. They are not doing it unwillingly. I watched as, two young boys were about to go through the ceremony. One had never done it before and the other had experienced it already once before. The experienced boy was smiling confidently at the camera and when the other boy expressed his nervousness, the other said he would be there for him to help him through. They know what they’re going to do.

So in preparation,  the elders collect the ants and sedate them. They then place them stinger first into gloves woven from leaves. Then as the drug wears off and the ants become agitated. That is when the gloves are placed on the children’s hands for 10 minutes. Afterwards they are forced to dance with the elders to help the venom flow through the body as staying still will not help them. After this, the boys get to talk with their leader, which is an honour saved only for those who are going/or have gone through the ceremony. They are congratulated and eat well.

So these boys are tough. To compare, let me tell you about Hamish Blake, an Australian documentary filmmaker. In the last episode of the show Hamish and Andy’s Gap Year South America, Hamish decided to test his inner strength by going through this ritual. The grown man could only keep the gloves on for a few seconds before shaking them off. After his experience, he collapsed as a result of the pain and was taken to the nearest hospital. The pain lasted 8 hours.

So these kids are stronger mentally and physically than the majority of adults in Western society never mind the children.

As I discussed this topic with my family one thing became apparent. We are weak and too dependent.

Most of us wouldn’t know how to function if the society we relied on crumbled around us. Survival skills aren’t taught in school here in the UK and I doubt they are in the majority of other Western schools elsewhere. Society could crumble a lot easier than we imagine. We wouldn’t need a zombie apocalypse. Things such as natural disasters, civil unrest, war, solar weather and the collapse of particular commerce (e.g. medicinal, food) between countries could all lead to the comfort of our lives being ripped away from us.

I don’t want to be all gloom and doom but it really made me think. I needed to learn how to survive if I were lost in the woods where there’s no signal. I needed the tools to aid me in such times.

I’d always been interested in the idea of taking part in survival classes. After realising my own vulnerability, I decided that putting off these ideas for a time when I needed them, would be too late. So I conducted a google search and although I have yet to find classes, I have begun to collect a number of items that will help me out if I ever need them. Here is the website I was looking through for ideas of what to get – Tactical Intelligence.net.

So far I have purchased a bracelet made of rope from a local fair. It features a mini compass and a flint fire steel in the clasp. I have now learnt how to use a small compass and create fire with the flint, a cotton bud and vaseline. The latter was surprisingly satisfying as I had to figure out how to make the tinder more effective (I won’t spoil it for you) and also from the simple fact that without help from a lighter, I had used my own problem-solving skills and determination to create fire. I have also purchased two 12 hour glowsticks and a larger compass designed to be used easily with a map.

I will continue to add to my growing collection. It’s actually quite addictive.

So here ends my latest post in thelittleshittyblog. It’s a bit long, but I had a lot to say. I hope you enjoyed the read!

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http://www.nationalrail.co.uk/SME/html/NRE_KGX/images/photos/800/o2248-0000945.jpg

New hobby discovered by man: Insulting the shit out of people

Before I begin with my latest post in thelittleshittyblog, I would like to welcome my first followers ananyabanerjee, Mon (Imma girl)luxelookbook and Atreya Thomas. Thanks guys for surprising me and making me smile with a display of commitment to this blog!

I’ve been on a well needed weekend away attending a friend’s birthday gig near Cambridge, allowing me to break out of my slump and grin as my body is filled with endorphins. Sometimes, in the words of Elsa from Frozen:

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small

– Elsa, Frozen (Disney)

I needed to get away from the constantly grey looming clouds of my hometown and finally be with friends who can reassure me that after certain issues, which I won’t get into online, I’m a great person to be around and that they understand my point of view.

Now for this trip I had to travel to Birmingham via train. I haven’t had the impulse to travel to Birmingham before so this was my first time visiting the Birmingham New Street railway station. I imagine the people from Birmingham are bored of their casual Costa and Boots visits whilst waiting for the train, but where I come from all we have is a small WHSmith kiosk. So when I arrived at the station I was filled with travellers glee when I came across the variety of shops demanding I splurge on their products to keep myself occupied whilst I wait for the next train. They thrive on dehydrated tourists and impulse buys from the bored. My most exciting purchase was a magazine explaining the many uses of a Raspberry Pi. No, that isn’t a magazine on the alternative uses for pie (because eating is so mainstream…) but a guide on understanding how this little gadget:

Raspberry_Pi_-_Model_A

can be made into things like this twitter doorbell:

raspi-doorbell

So I am excited to learn more about computer science! My computer has long been neglected by my intermediate care.

But unfortunately, I did experience something rather bizarre, completely idiotic and unnecessary on my way to the Birmingham railway station toilets. Now it’s not something scandalous, as I imagine you immediately assumed as soon as the word bizarre was followed by toilet (you and your dirty little mind!), but something I’d not expected. One of the station’s employees, a guy who looked just to be in his early twenties, was fuming and giving all those entering the toilets stink eye and openly calling them idiots. Now, these toilets were the type you only get in big cities. The dreaded pay or shit yourself toilets. If you don’t pay, good luck finding the nearest one outside of the station whilst waddling like a penguin. If we catch you pissing or shitting in a corner that’s a £40 + fine.

So I knew the drill. You make sure you have 30p change (which is a hassle of its own) and approach the turnstiles ready to quickly go through. You have to multitask starting with pushing the bar, maneuvering your luggage and trying not to get hit, then you can queue if you happen to identify as female or just go through if you identify as male.

As I approached I could hear this employee cussing and telling people what idiots they were. Later as I was going through the turnstiles I realised he was commenting on the idiocy and ignorance of those still using the turnstiles when the gate he was standing in front of was open. Now what I hated most was that he was assuming that everyone was too stupid and plain to think for themselves.

I definitely noticed the gate was open. I could see it with my eyes, I’m not blind. However, I could also see that all those exiting the bathrooms were using the gate to get out. Since it was really busy there were a lot of people exiting the bathroom with luggage. The guy was also standing directly in front of it as if he would pull back anyone who tried to enter without paying. So my mind went, surely they wouldn’t want to direct those desperate to use the loo into those desperate to leave the smells of a public bathroom especially when they are all lugging around suitcases the size of little children.

From the first few years of school in the UK, we’re taught to process streams of people like traffic. You would never have cars driving in different directions on the same side of the road (unless at a festival intentionally designed to be chaotic), so the same applies to humans unless there is no option to do so.

Secondly, I evaluated whether going past the guy was worth it if there was a chance I would get told to go through the turnstiles when I knew just doing so in the first place would result in, presumably, no hassle.

So yes, I did pause to think about the situation before choosing the option I deemed the least problematic. But both myself and others received a stream of insults about what idiots we were behind our backs. I was so pissed that I considered speaking my mind to him if he was still there when I left and made sure to stare at him whilst I was waiting in the queue (how daring). I just couldn’t believe it. Not only was he openly insulting everyone, but he was making assumptions about people when he was the one being an idiot:

“Dear guy who works at Birmingham Station and likes to comment on peoples’ intelligence outside the loos,

If you want people to go through the gates…don’t stand in front of them.

Here is my suggestion: stand in front of the turnstiles, as a result blocking them off, and then people will go through the open gate. If the occasional person gives you a quizzical look, then casually point them towards the gate. If this happens a lot, consider putting a sign in front of the turnstiles. That will stop them. 

Of course you still have the issue with a build up of people as they try to fit through one gate as they battle oncoming traffic…”

Luckily for him, when I finally squeezed past the huge queues to escape the crowded toilets, he was gone. Maybe he had got so tired of people’s stupidity that he had gone to the staff room to remind himself that there was hope for humanity found in the form of the LAD Bible.

So that’s the end of this blog post. I hope you enjoyed it and if you did, take a look at my two other posts (don’t hurt me, I’m new!) featured in theshittylittleblog. Also feel free to subscribe via email below so you don’t miss out on posts or follow using the RSS feed.

TTFN

The Illusion Dress…ok

So as I sat down with a butter soaked bagel and a chilled orange juice this morning, I found my puffy, sleep crusted eyes (lovely image) staring at the TV taking in the fashion section of the fairly popular – with those who get up early enough and have nothing to do – Lorraine lifestyle show on ITV. If you have never heard of this show before you are either: not from the UK, one of those who do not have time to watch lifestyle talk shows in the morning because you’re too busy getting on with life or you don’t have a TV.

So on this show they apparently have a fashion section, where a man named Mark discusses ‘celebrity style steals’ and ‘Get Before It’s Gone’ discounted buys. Most of it was just interesting enough that I didn’t change over (although I barely had enough energy to speak, so getting the remote might have been a bit too much for me) meaning I was actually watching when I was enlightened by the Illusion dress. There were only two outfits that were deemed exciting enough to be displayed on hired models this morning. One was an interesting sleeveless top with a sheer…hmmm…extended blouse/skirt/cape thing that went down to the model’s calfs. With this one, they obviously knew that the only way they could show that this outfit wouldn’t look stupid on a real human being was by bringing in a lovely woman to show it off. The other outfit was the Illusion dress.

Mark beamed brightly as he welcomed in the show stopper, the last dress to impress the audience with his fashionista aptitude for picking the best outfits. In came a blonde grinning woman, who was actually a good representation of the common woman’s size, wearing a white and grey Illusion dress. Now it’s hard to explain what an Illusion dress looks like so I will show you:

Optical Illusion Dress

Now unfortunately I couldn’t find the exact dress so use your imagination. This dress had the same white sides but a grey textured centre. There we go – easy!

Now before the model came out they showed the dress on screen in front of a white background. As a result, the illusion worked. BUT, on a real woman…it really doesn’t.

As Mark went on about the startling success of this optical trick, all I could notice was…well…the rest of the woman’s body. Like the arms and legs that sprouted out of the white ‘nothingness’ and the obvious outline of the supposedly absent part of her body. I mean of course it obviously wouldn’t be a perfect optical illusion, but if that’s the case then in my opinion they shouldn’t have even made them. There is no point in buying a dress that is meant to make you sport a different shape when the only time it comes close to working is when you’re in a nightclub where you can barely see and suffering from drunk squinty eye.

And I felt sorry for the model when Mark declared it gave the wearer the ‘perfect shape’, because she looked pretty healthy and toned to me and yet she still didn’t quite make it into Mark’s ‘perfect shape’ category. Of course, Mark is just a spokesperson in this situation who should have really thought before subtly insulting all the women who aren’t the clothing department’s mannequins, in the room. Think of it like this, those novelty macho t-shirts:

41zl-E8BV6L._SY445_

Imagine the chest image blocked out in white or black with a white background. I am fooled by that bare, muscular chest! His hips are clearly that narrow!

It just all seemed very stupid to me.

Now people can buy what they want, it’s a free world and I don’t ever want to police what people wear. I’m the sort of person who goes out rocking the androgynous look with a flare of fantasy and goth. In my opinion making fun of what someone is wearing is just being an asshole because you want to win laughs and popularity. Clothing is a way of self-expression. BUT I don’t have a problem with commenting on whether something does what it’s supposed to and the designers thinking behind it.

So that’s all for now and thank you for my first like from Atreya Thomas who writes about spiritual enlightenment. Not too sure why he crossed paths with my shittylittleblog but I’m happy for it all the same.

Once Upon A Time I Was Unemployed….

Well hi, welcome to thelittleshittyblog – lovely name – where today instead of a passionate display of affection for my zero readers, I will instead go straight into my current crisis.

I’m unemployed. I am a recent animation graduate who hates everything to do with the course that I’ve been spending the last three years of my life struggling over. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the social adventure of university – that was a blast – but I have come to the point where I am now having to deal with the fact that I don’t even want to touch my area of specialty with a laser pointer never mind a barge pole.

Since I haven’t taken a more generalised degree such as English, I am stuck with experience using software that isn’t easily transferable into other areas. Also, I am surely not the only one who is searching through lists and lists of jobs, looking at the titles and thinking WHAT THE FUCK DOES A MIDDLEWEIGHT DESIGNER MEAN? You know I’m sure that’s part of the sifting process “let’s make sure no one bar those with a degree in graphics know what we’re advertising for”. I mean great and all for you, but for us wanderers who have no clue what we want to do and are struggling to find something we will at least initially enjoy the idea of before possibly hating the job, we get no help. I’m artistic and do have experience with a lot of transferable programmes to the graphics field, but when I look at what they’re looking for its just not enough.

I don’t know what finding a job was like before I was born, but it seems with fewer people going to university, it would have been a lot easier. Now jobs want you to pull 2 years of experience out of your bum even though they know the only experience you’ll be getting is restaurant work as everyone else thinks you’re underqualified.

I have definitely hit the depression stage of being a post-graduate – if you couldn’t tell – and I keep reading facebook post after facebook post on all the jobs people have applied for. What the hell are they searching up because I’m clueless!

So here I am, a 21-year-old recent grad who is desperate to find that something to give her an aim and some purpose for now. I haven’t felt secure in what I want for a while and I just want that back. But I guess I always have the hope that this littleshittyblog will hit it big and fund me for a while till I find that thing I want to do.

So welcome! Please do come back!